And these have seemingly started over night. And lucky for me, I bear the brunt of them.
I was lamenting all these fits and tantrums and wondering what I was doing wrong with her. She kind of laughed and said, "Nothing. She's three. It's terrible." She then proceeded to tell me about all of the "fights" she'd had with her kids at that age and how it's just so normal. And then last night, she texted me to tell me that her son was crying because she wouldn't let him have a Popsicle before bed. I laughed and felt better.
I sent Georgia to bed with a piece of cheese because she was soooooooooo huuuuuuuuungry............and I was sooooooooooo tiiiiiiiiiired of fighting.
But it was good to talk to her about it. Because it makes me feel more.............normal.
And I remember a year or so ago when Georgia was in the throes of "holding it in" (if you know what I mean) and not going, and not going, and feeling all around miserable and me, not knowing what to do about it and carrying around a heap of mom-guilt because I couldn't figure out how to help my girl.
I got frustrated talking to the doctor's; being put on hold every time I called for up to forty five minutes alone made me want to rip out my hair, but not getting any REAL answers took the cake. And then I talked to my friend Holly who'd lived through some of the same thing and she told me who to call, and what to say, and what to demand, and........it worked.
My friend Rachel? She told me, "We wear pull-ups with pride over at our house. I'm not really into cleaning up pee all over the carpet, beds, couches, kitchen floors, or playrooms." I felt so relieved. I'd read all these books on going straight to underwear; it helps kids learn faster.....teaches responsibility. And maybe for some kids it does. But for me......all it was teaching anyone was how to drop to their knees and scrub the floor fifteen times a day.
So I listened to her, and bought a lot of pull-ups, and potty training took a while. But.......it's done. And I didn't spend a small fortune on Resolve carpet cleaner.
And there's Heidi. She told me from the get-go, "If the only sleep book you read is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth........you're good." I didn't listen. And I read everything else under the sun.........and nothing worked. And then I bought it. And within a week, life around here was sane.
When Georgia was five weeks old, she was inconsolable. She cried from morning till night for about two weeks. I thought she had colic. I was already bracing myself for the worst. My friend Mandie suggested I try soy formula. Overnight, my happy baby was back.
And I was one of "those" moms that said my child wouldn't play in one of those 'germ fest mall play areas.' And really, I'm not a germ weirdo in the least so it was completely out of character for me--but I was holding strong. My friend Liz (who is the calmest, most logical first time mom I've ever known might I add) told me to get over it. She said, "You just told me you watched Georgia eat a cricket leg off your basement floor before you could stop her. We're going to the play area." And away we went. And it was glorious and relaxing and is a great carrot to dangle in front of a kid while you're getting the shopping out of the way. And........she's never gotten sick as a result.
So, what I've learned as a new mom, is that besides the intuition we're blessed with as mothers we're also given other moms. Moms who have lived through sleepless nights, formula reactions, diaper rash, spit up, babies who are hungry, babies who are over-fed, when to introduce baby food, when to let a kid eat peanut butter, potty training, discipline that works, constipation, the best place to buy shoes that last, or good games for kids.
And these moms aren't even doctors or published authors with a litany of child-rearing books they've published behind their names; they're just moms. And if we listen to them along with our intuition it can pay off in spades. They can tell you when you should really call the doctor, when a home remedy will work better, when it's time to take away the pacifier, what kind of bed rails to buy, and when to just throw your hands up in the air and say, "Here's my white flag. Have fun with me."
That village we've been given--it's an amazing thing.
And I'm so thankful for it. Everyday.
Who are the moms in your village?
Who are the moms in your village?
I spent some time with part of my village this morning. And again, I expressed my frustration over the tantrums, and Rachel (the same wise pull-up Rachel) just like Kristine said, "Yep--it pretty much sucks doesn't it?"
And I felt normal again.
And here's some pictures of the morning--Georgia and Fiona.......playing in one of those germ-fests. They loved it.
Tommy's going through the tantrum stage too. Lately it's because he doesn't want to hold my hand when walking near cars. Yesterday we went to visit my mother-in-law who just had surgery, and I had to carry him screaming and kicking to the car on the way out of the hospital. Just because he wouldn't hold my hand in the parking garage. Once we got to the car and I put him down he was all smiles again. Arrgh!ReplyDelete
Yes. I love the Jekyll and Hyde routine. I experienced it this morning.Delete
I came over here from Kelle Hampton's blog. I think our kiddos are about the same age (son was born March 12th, 2009). :-) Dylan's going through the EXACT SAME PHASE. He doesn't want to listen, runs around like a nut everywhere we go, throws tantrums at the slightest thing. It can be so trying, can't it? I've spent more time leaving places lately than I've actually spent INSIDE of said places.ReplyDelete
I hear you. Oh......I hear you. And yes! So close in age! I'm hoping we can be through this by the end of the summer. Fingers crossed. Good to have you!Delete
ohmmmgeee can I please tell you how horrible our evening was? Nate was taking me out for a mother's day do-over day since Sunday was umm not good. Pick B up from preschool today and realize he did not take a nap there. First bad sign. Finally settle on a very nice italian restaurant at the mall. B is on his WORST behavior ever ever ever at a restaurant. He wouldn't eat the food we ordered (he usually eats anything) was literally jumping in the booth like it was a trampoline. he is taken to the restroom twice for a "talking to", is laying in the booth head-butting me. Should I go on? I forgot the nice shirt for Nate to change in to, so he was grumpy. I was looking pretty frumpy myself. Who walks in the restaurant? Nate's biggest customer he just scored last week, with two other really important dudes (like biggest deal Nate's ever made for the company). ugghh all we could do was laugh. There was no other option.ReplyDelete
Too fantastic Amber. I laughed out loud at the head butting in the booth. So funny (for me--not you). :)Delete
HAHA! Oh, my, the tantrums! Maybe I'll wait a little longer before trying to get pregnant ;)ReplyDelete
But seriously, I think the tantrums and frustrations and even the doubts and worries are all part of the mommy process. I think it's natural to feel this way from time to time and just recognize that it is a phase she's going through.
new follower :)
Yes Bonnie! Enjoy the child-free days--I wouldn't trade it for the world but I'm also very happy I was where I was age-wise and life wise when my daughter was born. I think it's making me a better mom. And yes--even in the midst of the tantrums I'm still happy I have her to pick up off the floor and carry to her room kicking and screaming--well....usually! :) So glad to have you! Such a cute name--bonnie louisa.Delete
Love this (I think I say that about all your posts!)... I so needed to read this. My daughter is 13 months and I'm so glad to have other mommies to get advice from. Oh, and I'm going to relish every moment between now and the temper tantrum phase! Ha!ReplyDelete
Yep.....soak it in Ashley. Soak it in! :)Delete
Thanks for the shout out Maggie! One day and night at a time.....ReplyDelete
I love being part of your village...thanks for all of the encouragement that you send back my direction too! :)ReplyDelete