Today, while driving through a parking lot Georgia told me that she wanted to be big. "How big?," I asked. "Big like you," she replied matter-of-factly.
My heart starts to beat really hard when she says things like this, I squeeze back a few tears, and I give myself a little figurative smack in the face to help me come back to reality and squelch the panic mode that so easily settles in when Georgia says anything about getting older, getting big, having a baby, getting married (right now it's just to Chris, so phew), or going to 'big' school.....by which she means college (I drove her by my alma mater one time and flippantly mentioned it's where I went to college and it stuck).
And when I jolt back to real-life and realize I'm driving through an outlet mall parking lot instead of watching a montage of my life play before me in slow-motion set to Taylor Swifts, "Never Grow Up" I remember that I need to write stuff down.
The 'stuff' that really means the most to me about Georgia. The things that seep through the sieve of our memories when they are replaced with cute memories of the next phase of life. They aren't things we mean to forget--we just do. It's like when people ask me now how much formula I was giving Georgia at nine months and I honestly have no clue; it was two years ago, not that long.....but it's like our mind only has the capacity to remember what we have to remember 'right now' about our kids because there's a lot more coming.
But there are those things at every phase, those sayings, those little habits, little mannerisms, quirks, and expressions that should not be forgotten. I have a few today--I want to lock them in.
Georgia started her first ballet class last night. Seeing her little body in a pink leotard and tap shoes and soft leather baby pink ballet slippers makes me realize even more how fast she is growing up and how desperately I want to cement into my mama heart all those 'Georgia-isms' that will forever be the epitome of who she is....and who she was. Writing them down is a way of doing that for me................
1. Gitchy........."It's all gitchy." I have no idea where this came from, but it's here. If something is uncomfortable, crooked, irritating, whatever......it's gitchy. And it's become a permanent fixture in our home. I think Chris and I actually use it more than Georgia does. "Hey babe.......those ribs tonight? They tasted a little gitchy."
2. Belt-seat. "Mommy--you're not safe. You're not wearing your belt-seat." I get this warning before we've even finished backing out of the driveway and I love it. I will never ever correct her. I don't care if we say belt-seat until she's forty years old. It's a belt-seat.
3. "Blaeah." (Say it like yeah). "Georgia.....do you want some applesauce?" "Blaeah." "Georgia did you have a good time today with Kate?" "Blaeah." "Georgia....are you excited to to go to Gaga and Pop Pop's?" "Blaeh." And of course it's what Chris and I say now too--'yeah' is a thing of the past. It's 'blaeah' baby. And for the love......we can't figure out how this started!
5. "You're my best." This will be part of the vernacular of our family for years to come. At random moments throughout the day Georgia will tell us, "Mommy.....you're my best." "Daddy........I love being your best." Melts. Our. Heart.
6. A 'big bit'.........I love this. When I tell Georgia that something isn't a 'little bit,' she asks me or says, "because it's a big bit?" Love.
7. "I was just going to hug you." This is maybe my favorite lie. Whenever Georgia lurches towards me to take something out of my hand, try to hit my arm in a moment of frustration, or is about to start a fit and I stop her sternly she instantly falls to pieces and crys, "but I was just going to hug you." Oh Georgia........you're my best.........you really are.........but your dad and I are on to you.
She was caught up in a movement.
8. "I just need to send a quick text." Yep--that's all me. And while I cringe when she says it as she punches at a calculator furiously, it's so cute. I really think it is.
I have a running list of these on my computer, I try to update it every three months or so. I put reminders in my phone about it, I leave myself post-it notes, I'm driven to remember. These little things aren't so little.....they're what we'll sit around and laugh about for years.
Of all the memories we have as a family from growing up we reminisce constantly about things like how my sister said, "buffle bag" instead of duffel bag, "mipstick" instead of lipstick, and I lied about eating all the left-over cookie dough and blamed it on my mom. These are the things that only a family shares. They are those private, happen-in-an-instant, shared with just us pieces of day-to-day-life that are begging to be remembered. Take a second and write a few down. You'll be addicted..........