Wednesday, April 16, 2014

There was this day back in September.......

September 17th to be exact.

It wasn't one of my Tuesday's to work so I dropped Georgia off at pre-school and drove Jefferson street.  There are two important things on Jefferson.

St. Mary's hospital, where Georgia was born and....
Catholic Charities,

our adoption agency.

I went to the latter.

And I met with a social worker about starting the adoption process for a second child.  Yes. Yes I did.

Chris and I decided last spring that we'd table adoption talk and putting pressure on ourselves to make a decision until the fall (we kind of always follow that pattern I guess).  Then of course, like it always does, fall crept up on us.  We didn't feel peace with saying we were done with kids.  We didn't feel peace saying we wanted more kids.  We didn't feel peace.

Last time we felt like that we started the adoption process one step at a time.  So that's what we decided to do this time too.  One. Step. At. A. Time.

Our social worker assured me that was a perfectly healthy way to go about it.  She'd done the same thing.

So I sat in that waiting room...........

And I took a picture to document it.  I promise I wasn't angry.  Just scared.

And my meeting went well.  And I walked out of there with all the paper-work that I needed to get this done and the assurance that a second adoption would be much less paper-work and "we could pretty much have your profile ready to show potential parents in less than a month."

And cue the nausea.

I took that paper work and stared at it for a week.  And Chris and I had lots of conversations that never got finished because we didn't know how to finish them.

One step at a time.

The next Tuesday I dropped our medical clearance paper-work off at the doctor's.

And then I started asking God for signs that we should do this.  Even though I'm not a big 'need a sign person.'

Whatever.  Who isn't a 'need a sign person'?

And that day this article from Adoptive Families screamed into my inbox totally unsolicited.  And an hour later this post showed up in my Facebook feed from a kids website here in town.

And then of course there was just the nagging feeling that wouldn't go away that maybe, just maybe, we should do this.

But still we waited a bit.  Chris got a new job, things were crazy for me at my job, Christmas was coming (in about a month and a half--but still….it seemed like a good excuse to stall), and we were……..scared.  Scared of doing it all over again.  And by "it" I mean it all.  A newborn, adoption, meeting another family, re-defining our own family, and in the midst of it all thinking about how this would and could affect Georgia….a factor that we didn't have to consider the first time around.  And when you're adopting as the way to add to your family there are a lot more moving parts that your oldest will be exposed to--moving parts that can feel scary.

But in January we told our social worker, 'let's get this going.' She came out and updated our home-study, we got fingerprinted (again), we answered essay questions, and I created another profile book.

And today….I turned it in!

And we are officially on the waiting list as prospective adoptive parents….for a second time.

And we are just so excited.
To see what is before us, how this will change us, how this will grow our little girl who is absolutely ready to be a big sister, and what adoption will be like the second time around.

We know more about adoption now… ignorance is bliss doesn't apply anymore……I suppose.  We're concerned that maybe we won't get to have as open of an adoption this time as we do with Georgia's birth mom…..but maybe we will….hopefully we will.  We worry that we'll have to wait a long time compared to Georgia's adoption--where we didn't wait at all……but maybe we won't.  There is no typical in adoption so we have to pretend that it's the first time a little bit.

I'll keep you updated here and there when there's something to update and just like the first time we did this and the years that have followed I love to answer questions about and talk about adoption--so never hesitate to ask something if you're curious.

Thanks for being excited with us!


  1. Congratulations!! I look forward to seeing how your journey unfolds. My husband and I began the adoption process late last year and all the paperwork and home inspections are complete, just need to finish the profile letter!! New job for my husband, a potential move, and yes fears have caused us to pause for a time. I was encouraged by your "one step at a time"! Again, congratulations and all the best as you prepare for the next chapter.

  2. Wow!!! This is so exciting Maggie!!! I'll be praying for you and your family as you all continue in this journey! Praying for God's peace and clear leading! Thanks for sharing!!

  3. Congrats!! The worst part about adoption for me is that process- you can put it off, jump ship so easily because of the fear. Unlike pregnancy you can stop it at any time- put it on "hold." We are waiting again as well and occasionally on a day Baby girl is melting down we look at each other and wonder what are we doing having a second!?! Looks like God made sure you knew he had plans for you :) Whats Georgias take on being an older sister?

    1. Agh. Yes! We've been there too! It's such a crazy balancing act dealing with our emotions isn't it?

  4. Hi! This is very exciting news! Thank you for sharing. It seems that blogging moms often, for some reason, choose to not share the journey of the second. I am just thrilled to follow along with you on this one!
    This post was interesting timing because I was just thinking of emailing you to ask your feelings about adopting again. We are currently struggling with that decision. Oh, I wish I would have! I could have been one of your signs! Ha! ;)
    As it is, now you can be one of my signs. I'm not even a sign person either, though. I’ve always thought people just skew things to fit whatever they want them to fit and then call them signs. But maybe I’m changing how I feel. I was at a women’s conference (Jen Hatmaker) last week. In her message on setting things right in our world, she spoke of babies and children needing families while we sit in houses with empty bedrooms. It spoke to me. And your post…
    Ross and I still have uncertainty, though. There is the usual stuff you grapple with when adding to your family. And then there is the adoption stuff on top. The biggest question is how it will affect our daughter. Likely a subsequent adoption would have a more open relationship. Will Rae be hurt by that? I have to keep reminding myself of what our worker told us when I was sad that Rae’s story was/is not what we thought it would be. She said that there is no “perfect” story, just HER story. And it’s our job to help her through whatever she needs help through.
    We go back and forth. I hate the uncertainty, or lack of peace, as you said. I just want to decide, one way or another, and then go with it! But why? Maybe that’s not how things always have to be done. Why not just one step at a time, like you speak about. It reminds me of a quote by Richard Rohr: "We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking."
    Words to live by!

    1. Beth! Thanks so much for everything that you wrote. I still think about you guys a lot! Whenever I have to write my middle name, Rae, I always wonder how you're doing. I love that quote you put at the end of your comment…….it's how it's always been for us. I can't take in and process a big picture change. It makes me a wreck. I have to decide things one step at a time knowing I can always back out. I tell myself, "you're not committing to an adoption--you're committing to get your fingerprints done in case you want to adopt," "now, we're just committing to updating our home study in case we want to get more serious," and on and on like that. It's what helps me realize that the next step is something I want. Keep me updated!


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