Monday, February 3, 2014

I guess kisses aren't the only thing that begin with Kay…….

Have you seen this ad? 
I first saw it last week and about shot out of bed. I shook Chris awake and rewound the show I was watching so he could see it too.  I had to get someone else to corroborate what I'd seen.  

There is a small part of me that feels like maybe I should throw Kay Jewelers a teeny tiny bone for at least trying to acknowledge adoption, but that part is just so minute and this ad is so off-putting (some call it an abomination--and I can't disagree) that it can't be done.  It makes me wonder if they consulted with anyone real that represents any side of adoption; a birth-parent?, adoptive parents from this decade?, an adoptee? a social worker?……anyone?   

This commercial hearkens thoughts of Lifetime movies about adoption; which have in general, done nothing good for the institution of adoption--neither for birth parents, adoptive parents, or adoptees.  Likewise, it  is reminiscent of the era of closed adoptions where babies were whisked away from their birthparents, were denied a relationship with them, and worse….one in which many birthparents weren't given a choice about making an adoption plan or not.  

An agency that smacks of a baby mill, a "social worker" walking into an impersonal waiting room with a baby as if this is at all how any agency would "hand-off" a child, a smarmy couple oblivious to the gut-wrenching emotion that really exists on the day that they meet their baby, no indication that this baby at all came from someone else and what they're feeling, a conversation from aforementioned smarmy couple that makes it sound like this is the first time they've thought of themselves as parents…ha,ha, he, he….aren't we cute?, and a glossing over of such a heavy topic… was all just too much for me.  

The array of emotions that exist within adoption, in particular as it relates to the specific part of adoption portrayed in this commercial, are too heavy, varied, deep, personal, and gut-wrenching in both good and hard ways to be portrayed in a thirty second spot that I'd go so far as to say that it shouldn't even be tried.  This ad is cruel… birth-parents in that it gives them no credit for the decisions they've made, the sacrifice they make, and the immense love they have for their children.  This ad is demeaning… adoptive parents in that it makes them look like oblivious fools who have given no thought to the weight of what they are about to do.  And this ad over-simplifies (by a million miles) the act of adoption.  

Sending the message that you can buy a baby as simply as you can buy a diamond necklace is archaic, insulting, and warrants whoever green-lighted this commercial being asked to find a new job.  

Thankfully I don't own any Kay Jewelry…….


  1. Couldnt agree with you more. Although its amazing and beautiful it also is fragile and full of emotion. They totally missed the mark. Thanks for sharing.

  2. I'm an adoptive mom and posted this video on my blog:

    Someone wrote back that they had read a different review and linked back to your blog so I popped over here.

    I didn't review the video. Just said it was corny but worth sharing.

    I didn't find it at all insulting although I respect your opinion on it and think it could be perceived differently. I thought that while the ad was very corny, they at least tried to recognize that every family's road to parenthood is different. Every adoption is different so there is no way to accurately portray it. But I thought they tried to in a generic sense.

    Totally see what you are saying just wanted to say that I didn't take it that way.

    God bless!


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