Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Things I DON'T do.

And now for the companion piece to yesterday's post.  I don't know what makes me look crazier--the things I do from yesterday's post or the things you're about to find out I don't do.

I Don't.........

1.  Really eat fruit.  It's just never been my favorite.  Promise. And hot fruit.....baked in pies.....NO WAY.

2.  Have a separate dish towel and hand towel.  Sorry grandma.

3.  Know how to parallel park--even a little bit really.

4.  Struggle with the decision to exercise or not's a pretty clear, 'just not going to happen.'

5.  Love hugs from strangers or friends (that I just saw two days ago---enough with the promiscuous hugging people!) And in this same vein,  I don't like being called 'hon,' 'dear,' or 'sweetie.'

6.  Really scrub my tile floors with a's the beauty of a slate floor--you can't even see how dirty they are. Plus....isn't stone supposed to be kind of gritty?

7.  Change my sheets every week.

8.  Bake.  World's worst baker right here (my hand is raised).  I can ruin boxed brownies like a champ!

9.  Like talking on the phone.

10.  Love chick flicks (the Lifetime movies I mentioned yesterday--those are just background noise--just so we're clear, right?)

11. Ever remember that I have coupons to use.........and then they're expired.............and I've spent more money than I needed to..........every time!

12. Garden. I pretend to.  I can put together really great pots for my front porch and water them.......but I don't really know a whole lot about cultivating plants, cross-breeding, soil consistency, cross pollination (are these even gardening terms?) or fertilizers.  But I wish..............

13.  Scrap-book.  Just the idea of it makes me itchy.

14.  Go to movies alone.  I've never done it.  I hear it's a liberating experience.......liberating from what?

15.  Try and give up Diet about an exercise in futility folks.  Has anyone ever really been successful at this?  And I mean really?  Like it's been a decade since you've felt that burn?  I don't believe you.

16.  Let Georgia watch DVD's in the car unless we're driving somewhere that takes more than three hours to get to.  We sing a lot of Dora.....and we talk.

17.  Mow the lawn.  I was the daughter of a man very particular about the patterns in the lawn, the length it was mowed, and how the lawn-mower was treated.  I married a man who shares this lawn obsession.  I'm totally okay with it.

18.  Grill.  I enjoy grilled food.  But I don't grill myself.  I don't even know how to turn a grill on.  And I know--this might seem completely unbelievable, but it's true.  I should probably ask to be taught.

19.  Get bothered by stereotypical gender roles within the household.  See #17 & #18.  I'll do the laundry.  I actually LOVE vacuuming. I make dinner, and I want to be the one who does the dishes....because I have a way that I want it done.  Ironing?  That's up for grabs.

20.  Wear pajama pants in public.   No one should--sorry.  It's true.

21.  Understand why men spit.  It's one of those double-standards in our society.  If I ever raise a son--he'll be reprimanded for spitting......oh.....he will.  Why is it okay to dispel a bodily fluid on the sidewalk?--it's not.

22.  Put my daughter in a cocoon when she rides in the grocery cart.  We're building up her immune system over here.  When I watch her put cricket legs in her mouth (before I can stop assured) I feel like a lot of germ-fighting is pointless.

23.  Do the cloth diaper thing.  Honestly--more power to the women who do it, save money at it, and swear by it---you are more of a woman than me.

24.  Go to bed angry at my husband.  Even if no had ever come up with this adorably cliche marriage advice I wouldn't be able to do it.  I would rather resolve an argument in the middle of the grocery store than let it go on five more minutes.

25.  Take for granted the blessings I've been given, the second chances I've been afforded, or the love I receive.  Even when things are hard, depressing, taxing, and emotionally draining I know that there is no reason I deserve anything that I've been given.

In retrospect.....maybe my list of things I don't do is more normal than my list of things I do.  Either way--make your own list and tell me about it!  I love reading stuff like this.  Admit it-----we're all voyeurs right?


  1. I may just do this for a future post! Awesome! And I also don't do things like change my bedsheets every day, or GARDEN (my pretend garden looks like it belongs on the Nightmare Before Christmas)....

  2. I love this idea! I'm going to do it to. Thanks for leading the way!

  3. Oh my GOODNESS. This totally could have been written by me. I'm retired now, but I didn't do ANY of those things when I was raising a family (and I still don't do most of them--the others don't apply). And my children turned out just dandy.


You Might Also Like....

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...