Monday, November 11, 2013

A guest post. From my husband. {It's true!}

About a year ago I got an e-mail from a reader who said I should have Chris write a post.  She said she thought it'd be interesting to hear his perspective on adoption and what it's meant to him.  I thought, "This girl is so smart. I'm going to make this happen."

And the thing is, Chris is an amazing writer.  Amazing.  When we were poor college students and couldn't afford to buy each other actual gifts, he'd write me these incredible letters that were so creative and thoughtful and funny and…….honestly unexpected.  I saved every single one of them and I read them from time to time because they are a great glimpse into the past; who we were, how our relationship started, and what made us work.  I still will beg him from time-to-time to write me a letter.  It's not the most organic way to get one--but sometimes he'll deliver.

When I mentioned this "you should write a post" idea to him right after I received this e-mail he kind of laughed and kept on walking out to the garage.  I stuck my head out the door and said, "No really--you should.  I think it'd be cool."

"Blogging is really more your thing than mine," he replied distractedly and we didn't really talk about it after that.

But last week he said nonchalantly (like he always does when delivering news I'll be way excited about), "I have that blog post finished for you."  I didn't believe him at first but then he slid his laptop across the couch and sure enough--it was there.

I'm so thankful for amazing readers who introduce themselves to me and give me great ideas like this. And while it's hard for me publish Chris's post because sometimes it's uncomfortable to hear affirmations about yourself--the bigger message of his post, the take-away that I want everyone to get is this: find a passion and work your hardest at doing it well.

Have you ever had the opportunity to meet someone who you were in awe of?  They can make you feel like you’re the most important person in the world by simply acknowledging that you're sharing the same air.

I felt this way once in college when I had three minutes to talk with President Ford while he waited for his car. Here was the extent of our exchange, "good morning son."  And in that moment he made me feel like I was ready to take a bullet for the former President should the situation call for action. However, in practice I was nearly paralyzed with respect for who was standing across from me; for the life he had led and what he had accomplished. This same humbling wave of emotion has kept me from writing this post for four years. This respect for a subject matter expert, respect from peers, an accomplished body of work, and tireless work for my wife Maggie.

Maggie talked with me some time ago about writing a post but I acted like this was her thing, that I wasn't interested, and I tried to blow her off. However that wasn't entirely the truth.. I've made a conscience decision not to step into these waters out of respect  for her and a lack of confidence in my ability to match the standard she has set. This standard of advocating for open adoption has been galvanized through a wildly committed passion.

Passion, I think this is one of the greatest differentiators of people in the entire world. There are countless knowledgeable, beautiful, witty, charismatic people in the world, but nearly all of them are forgettable. The people who've left a lasting mark on my life have been passionate about something. This passion Maggie has burning for normalizing open adoption has left its mark on my heart and my life. It has challenged me to be a better husband, father, and passionate ambassador for open adoption. How could it not?

I've watched Maggie labor for hours over getting just the right sentiment correct in a paragraph on an open adoption post.....she has opened our home to talk with near total strangers who have shown interest in learning more about adoption....she has spoken to prospective parents at our adoption agency about how we became "those people" that we thought strange five years ago. Together we had the pleasure, no honor, of watching our friends walk this adoption journey and bring home their little boy...and maybe most moving for me, I watched my wife pour herself into a friends turbulent adoption situation with as much passion as I have ever seen. It kept her awake at night, she talked about it around the clock, she shared her stress about the situation with friends, people at work, and strangers, and the note that showed up at our house from this friend when her adoption was finalized was one only reserved for people who are transparent and willing enough to share their passion with someone else.    

It’s my privilege to watch my wife and share this passion with her.

I write this to encourage others to find their passion. For our family, we have chosen to pursue this journey of breaking down misconceptions, encouraging those who need it, and educating the curious about this developing idea of open adoption.  Find your passion, embrace it, live it, and share it with someone.  If you need a starting point, Maggie and I have an amazing journey we’d love to share with you…it starts with a beautiful little girl named Georgia.

--Chris Terryn


  1. Love it! And Chris should come back again :)

    1. I told him the same thing. I made up a little list of topics he could right about. I think I may have pushed the envelope on that one.


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