tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post6336607511011930733..comments2024-03-26T06:02:03.493-04:00Comments on Pink Shoes: For Asher. maggiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00671635849994739359noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-82373584565884304682013-01-21T17:13:58.664-05:002013-01-21T17:13:58.664-05:00http://www.apairofpinkshoes.com/2013/01/news-best-...http://www.apairofpinkshoes.com/2013/01/news-best-news.html Check out this link! It's a good one!maggiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00671635849994739359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-31895944151888559942013-01-21T16:39:26.299-05:002013-01-21T16:39:26.299-05:00Please update us on Asher Ling. Think of the Ling...Please update us on Asher Ling. Think of the Ling family daily. Thanks!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-65112080257000436782013-01-07T09:09:50.932-05:002013-01-07T09:09:50.932-05:00Maggie,
I have been quietly following your blog f...Maggie,<br /><br />I have been quietly following your blog for some time now. I just love your posts and your insight into the world of open adoption. It's a blessing to me; truly it is.<br /><br />When I read this post, my heart broke for this family. I didn't want to close the browser because I didn't want to forget to pray for them. I can't imagine what they must be going through and the fear that they probably feel.<br /><br />Yesterday at church, my preacher quoted Proverbs 18:10: The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.<br /><br />I wonder if He allowed that verse to stick to my heart just so I could share with you and with Aaron and Karen. God is so good and He has perfect plan for this situation.<br /><br />I will be praying for this family and for the biological father. I will pray for the judge and attorneys. Mostly, I will pray for Asher. <br /><br />ErinErinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12022739737785763420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-6805060150492666312013-01-06T22:37:37.795-05:002013-01-06T22:37:37.795-05:00Thanks for such a well-thought out and insightful ...Thanks for such a well-thought out and insightful comment Theresa. I will definitely see if my friend would like your e-mail in the coming days and weeks no matter what happens. I wish you amazing things as you pursue adoption again. maggiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00671635849994739359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-2944238610254527552013-01-06T22:09:56.934-05:002013-01-06T22:09:56.934-05:00I can offer a unique perspective. My husband &...I can offer a unique perspective. My husband & I were in Aaron & Karen's shoes almost exactly one year before them. (Our court date was Jan 11, 2012.) Our son was nearly the same age Asher is, and we were in a custody situation with the birth father for most of the time we had him. Our adoption had been finalized 4 days after his birth. A short time later another man came forward claiming to be the birth father, and a DNA test proved he was. We hoped & prayed he would be willing to have an open adoption, but he wanted to raise his son. There were a handful of court hearings and we lost them all. At 15 months old we had to say good bye to our son. <br /><br />This is a hard place to be. We wanted to keep our son. We loved him dearly (and still do), and oh, how attached he and our daughter were! Yet how could I deny a father his child? He really wanted to raise his son, and we know he has lots of support from family and friends to do so. <br /><br />I don't know the reasons why the birth father of Karen's son is fighting the adoption. The birth father's desires of what happens to their child are just as important as the birth mother's. If he wasn't given the chance to consent to the adoption at the beginning it's so unfortunate that they all have to go through this now. There is heart break on all sides.<br /><br />My prayer throughout our ordeal was that God would be glorified. That how my husband & I handled the situation would glorify God. We live in a depraved, fallen world where lots of bad things happen. God doesn't cause them to happen but He can bring beauty from the ashes. That is my prayer for all involved in this situation. That God is glorified in all that happens.<br /><br />There was something God really pressed into my heart shortly after losing our son. It is arrogant of me to think that the best place for our son was with us. Yes, his life will be drastically different with his birth father than with us but how can I say it would be better. The best place for our son is where God wants him to be. God has a plan for him, and I pray for that plan to be fulfilled. <br /><br />Our experience did not tarnish the name of adoption. We still absolutely love adoption in all it's forms, and we are pursing it again. And we encourage everyone who asks us. God commands us to look after orphans, and we will do that however we can. <br /><br />Maggie - feel free to pass my email on the Aaron & Karen if they would like to talk with someone who's been there.Theresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15753098075284936377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-88683527803401542872013-01-06T13:46:59.853-05:002013-01-06T13:46:59.853-05:00This is truly heart wrenching. Praying for this pr...This is truly heart wrenching. Praying for this precious boy and his sweet parents. This is just unimaginable for everyone involved. Praying for the judge making the decision, that he will be led by God to make the right one. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04173221116118498902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-72877517097800408702013-01-06T13:30:57.150-05:002013-01-06T13:30:57.150-05:00Thanks Beth, You've been so heavy on my heart...Thanks Beth, You've been so heavy on my heart amidst all of this too. Your perspective and grace and vulnerability have taught me so much these past few months. I'm honored to know you. Your prayers are coveted and so appreciated. I hope you've been able to experience the peace you need too. If only all of this wasn't so hard and so multi-dimensional. You're an amazing lady. maggiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00671635849994739359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-15550430629543570762013-01-06T12:44:12.720-05:002013-01-06T12:44:12.720-05:00Maggie,
Thank you for being brave enough to share...Maggie,<br /><br />Thank you for being brave enough to share your feelings and start a discussion where others can share theirs, even if not all exactly aligned.<br /><br />As you know, I am a waiting adoptive mother who experienced a loss recently. The birthparents changed their minds after two days of all of us caring for the sweet baby girl together. It was heart wrenching, but, you could say, the system worked. They had that time to finalize their decision. <br /><br />After feeling the pain of what my family and I experienced, I cannot even fathom the pain that Karen and Aaron are feeling.<br /><br />Most of us don’t know the details of Asher’s story. I wonder about those first days and if the birthfather was involved at all. Somehow the system, in this story, must have failed. It’s not perfect, I suppose. <br /><br />Regardless of the circumstances, I will pray for all involved. Specifically, I will pray that God’s will be done, and that the pain of those involved is eased by the knowledge of God’s love.<br /><br />Beth<br />Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17217975509842881476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-18043764048459449492013-01-06T08:03:33.490-05:002013-01-06T08:03:33.490-05:00Praying that the absolute best thing happens for t...Praying that the absolute best thing happens for this little man. As a foster care social worker I see so many dads who are failures and don't want a blessed thing to do with their kids, so it always wrenches my heart a bit when I see a bio-dad being denied his child for whatever reason. No one is perfect, but thankfully we serve a God who is. May His will be done here and regardless of outcome, may hearts be healed.<br /><br />As an adoptive mom, I really appreciate bio mom and bio father's posts above. Thanks for joining the conversation. So often their voices are "moderated" out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-21096344737083505782013-01-06T00:32:12.742-05:002013-01-06T00:32:12.742-05:00But, the birthfather did NOT "come in after a...But, the birthfather did NOT "come in after a year and decide" he wanted to be part of his son's life. It says that he came in the picture ELEVEN months ago. It is only now, in January of 2013, that Asher is over a year old. He was only a few months old at the time his biological father started taking steps to gain custody.Mathematical Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00516953681178866777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-254474981295390962013-01-05T00:50:39.728-05:002013-01-05T00:50:39.728-05:00I agree with biological mom. You are clearly worri...I agree with biological mom. You are clearly worried for your friends and that is understandable, as it is a heart wrenching situation. But what exactly are you wanting prayer for? That the adoptive parents prevail or that the child's best interest prevail? As a father, it is hard to pre judge this father on his intentions without knowing the details. As she said- someone will be heart broken and they are the ones who need prayer and comfort. a biological fathernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-52774914834610801082013-01-05T00:20:56.816-05:002013-01-05T00:20:56.816-05:00I appreciate this comment because it's very ha...I appreciate this comment because it's very hard to judge this situation without knowing the facts. how do we know the father was unfit? what knowledge did he have about his son? I'm sure the adoptive parents are amazing but it is not that simple. I hate the suffering that all are experiencing here and overall I hope that justice prevails.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-66408123995144852772013-01-04T23:54:13.984-05:002013-01-04T23:54:13.984-05:00I don't often read links from FB friends, but ...I don't often read links from FB friends, but for some reason I clicked one that lead me to this. This situation is so heartbreaking for the biological parents, the adoptive parents, and most importantly, the sweet little boy. At this point, there are simply no good answers. None of us can know what the just decision is or in the best interest of this child without knowing the details of this case, but it is all terribly hard to imagine. I do pray that justice will be done and I pray for the hearts of whoever ends up on the side of heartbreak. <br /><br />I am a biological mother of a child who I gave up for adoption and am blessed with a wonderful open adoption. It's striking to me that you write about this story not wanting to be a reflection on the culture of adoption. I agree with you on that, but disagree with you on so many of the other ways you are presenting adoption here. A child is not a "selfless gift" to be given to belong to parents who want a baby in their home. They are individuals with a biological heritage and are so often hurt by the loss experienced in losing their "first family," even with domestic infant adoptions. Wanting to parent your own biological child, whether you intended to conceive a child or not, does not make a person automatically selfish or unwise. I understand that you have deep concern for this particular family, but it seems there are many ways to ask for prayer for them in this broken circumstance without also perpetuating unfortunate adoption stereotypes. A Biological Momnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-21602712846142539092013-01-04T22:43:02.631-05:002013-01-04T22:43:02.631-05:00My heart is breaking for this family. Praying for ...My heart is breaking for this family. Praying for all involved, especially this sweet boy. Camillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15037099213505828527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-1058829196621895962013-01-04T22:30:56.447-05:002013-01-04T22:30:56.447-05:00I can't even re-read this to get the facts... ...I can't even re-read this to get the facts... you have captured it and said it beautifully. I will be on my knees for this family until January 9th. my.heart.is.broken. I can't imagine their feeling. Praying praying praying. Mrs. D'Amicohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02488883366669591864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-40703003897057091992013-01-04T22:25:31.788-05:002013-01-04T22:25:31.788-05:00Pleeaaasseeeee tell me his signed in the beginning...Pleeaaasseeeee tell me his signed in the beginning???Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-79428381023612848642013-01-04T21:48:07.194-05:002013-01-04T21:48:07.194-05:00praying intentlypraying intentlygrandma Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16799526899462843232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-20938227769627852552013-01-04T19:20:00.306-05:002013-01-04T19:20:00.306-05:00Prayers sent! \O/ AMEN! Prayers sent! \O/ AMEN! Christie Strayerhttp://www.mythirtyone.com/orangecountynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-68792151321007896162013-01-04T18:39:41.322-05:002013-01-04T18:39:41.322-05:00Praying for all of you, especially little Asher.Praying for all of you, especially little Asher.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15295898666204686852noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-92130168067795998602013-01-04T18:26:45.970-05:002013-01-04T18:26:45.970-05:00This is such a sad, scary story. I will be praying...This is such a sad, scary story. I will be praying for this family and trust that God will work out all things for good. Please keep us posted.Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10826913919163707391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-6295103513844220082013-01-04T16:38:23.167-05:002013-01-04T16:38:23.167-05:00I will definitely pray for them. How unfair for A...I will definitely pray for them. How unfair for Asher and his parents. Babies develop their sense of trust so young, and to take that away from him is deplorable. I pray that the judge can look beyond the fact that he's the bio dad, and keep Asher in the family that he deserves. How did this process take so long anyway? I thought there were time limits to prevent this sort of thing (I'm sorry, I'm not knowledgeable at all on the laws) for the benefit of the children. Please keep us updated. <3Lissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16486649883238164515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-17609842679694474402013-01-04T15:54:56.624-05:002013-01-04T15:54:56.624-05:00I am an adoptive mom and I was in court the day ou...I am an adoptive mom and I was in court the day our daughter's bio mom relinquished her - he cried and hugged and I promised her I would care for our daughter. This breaks my heart because Asher only knows one set of parents. To remove him from them at this point is awful, most awful for him. I am grateful to know my daughter's bio parents (we see them regularly). I hope this works out for the best for Asher. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-54795118985790670772013-01-04T15:11:03.625-05:002013-01-04T15:11:03.625-05:00I stand behind you and them now and on January 9th...I stand behind you and them now and on January 9th. I was in small group with Karen and Aaron ages ago, know how amazing they are, and how much they wanted a child, Asher. I have seen and felt the joy over the last year that Asher has brought them. Now, does it need to be said, my heart is broken. My heart aches with them and for them. I really wish there was more I could do to help them. But praying for them is a given, I surrender my prayers to God in their honor. Asher and his amazing mommies know what's best for him, I pray that someone else realizes too what they already know. Thanks for telling their story. Mary Margaret Gregghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11025807807705605682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-25669421746720494502013-01-04T15:08:41.495-05:002013-01-04T15:08:41.495-05:00Perfect thoughts Jeremy. It's exactly why I c...Perfect thoughts Jeremy. It's exactly why I can't be quiet about stories like this. It is wrong. On EVERY LEVEL. I want domestic adoption to be celebrated and individuals who want to derail the beautiful thing that it can be need to be stopped. maggiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00671635849994739359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8661996260329351614.post-60570614163569601812013-01-04T15:07:31.719-05:002013-01-04T15:07:31.719-05:00Sending some prayers their way..
Stories like thi...Sending some prayers their way..<br /><br />Stories like this make me sick. They come in after a year and decide they want to be a part of the child's life? Where were they before this? I wonder if someone in hisfamily is pushing for this. either way, its extremely selfish as far as I'm concerned. Dylan'sMommy316https://www.blogger.com/profile/01446561276294352521noreply@blogger.com