Things I do.

This is a quick and dirty little post about the things that I do on a pretty regular basis.  Now........I don't expect you to "get" all of these.  Some (okay many) are to satisfy my deep rooted psychosis and first born, type A, super annoying personality.  Maybe you'll relate to some of them.  However, I'd probably think you were a cooler person if you didn't.

(Oh.....and stay tuned tomorrow for "Things I Don't Do.")

I............

1.  Check my e-mail before I get out of bed in the morning-- (cringe).

2.  NEVER take a shower without having already brushed my teeth.

3.  Watch the Today show on the days I don't work even though it's not "real" news.....and I love every second of it.

4.  Dust almost every day--the only solution to this would be to get rid of all flat surfaces in my house (this dusting obsession has padded cell written all over it--especially since when I'm doing it, it's being done out of anger).

5.  Take at least 20-30 pictures every single day, either with my iPhone or with my camera.

6.  (try really hard to) Only listen to kids music while driving around in the car with Georgia--she is very attuned to music and picks up everything.

7.  Love to listen to my daughter pray before meals.  She asks to do it and I think it's the best to listen to her little brain work! She thanks Cheez-its (that's what it sounds like when she says Jesus) for her grapes, her hummus, her cranberry juice, her applesauce, her bib, and her mommy. 

8.  Turn off the TV around ten a.m. and don't turn it back on until Georgia goes to bed in the evening (this is a huge accomplishment for me since I love TV--and I'm very proud of it, so I'm going to brag about it).

9.  Read at least five books to Georgia every day.

10.  Drink about five or six cups of tea each day (who's becoming her mother? holla.)

11. Let Georgia jump on the bed and play with my phone.........you know what they say about battles.

12.  Plan my meals on a calendar so I (kind of) don't waste money at the grocery store.

13.  Eat Cheez-Its (no connection to #7) everyday.....my husband and I are obsessed--and we probably consume about five boxes a month (and we're talking the family size boxes people).

14. Wear mascara everyday..... even if I'm sick with the flu.... (well--that might be stretching it.......but I love mascara.....and you should too).

15. Watch movies on Lifetime if my husband is feeling really charitable.

16.  Place a huge importance on eating dinner together as a family, and become irritatingly unreasonable if Chris is running late.

17.  Don't remember the last time I went to bed without washing my face........If I could have a wish from a genie it'd be for better skin.

18.Pray with my daughter before bed every night.........and if I forget..............she reminds me.  So great!

19.  Dance to "On the Edge of Glory" every evening before Georgia goes to bed.......it's our routine and sista' isn't letting anyone forget that "it's time to dance crazy!"

20.  Scrub the top of my stove at least twice a day (whoever told me not to buy a black stove-top was righter than right and I should have listened............go figure...........it was my mom).

21.  Get giddy when I hear the mail truck round the corner onto my street! (Seriously--who doesn't love getting the mail.........even when it's filled with my tenth Victoria's Secret catalog that week, free return address labels from the Humane Society, and a timeshare offer?)

22.  Keep a list of things to write about on my phone................it's getting long and sometimes when looking back I have no idea what I meant--Oreos and Babies?, iPods and Pledge?  Really--maybe these were typed after my Lunesta was kicking in.

23.  Throw everything away.  I can't stand random trash (old envelopes, receipts, paycheck stubs, wrappers, plastic bags, little pieces of whatever, random bobby pins, etc.) laying around---therefore I throw it away.  And even stuff that I should save because it's important--I throw it away.  C to the RAZY I'm tellin' you.

24. I weigh myself.  I know............you're not supposed to.  Baloney.  It's the best maintain your weight, lose weight, pretend like you're trying to lose weight, decide not to eat french fries but then do anyway, method there is. 

25.  Ask my daughter if I can bite her cheeks.  Just one bite is all I need I tell her.  She always rejects me.  Always. 

Yep.  That's it.  Crazy me.  And truth be told--I only did this because I wanted to do a Things I Don't Do post and felt like this would round out my self-deprecation that is coming tomorrow nicely. 

See you then!

Why do I blog?

Recently I've had a handful of people say things to me like this,

"If I had that much time I'd be able to blog too."

 "You need to find something to do."

 "Why would other people care to read about someone else's kids, what other moms are struggling with, or how to do something silly to make your house look nice?"  

And here's the thing......as humans we're hard-wired to compare ourselves, feel inadequate, and have an insatiable need to make ourselves feel better about our own whatever's by making someone else feel bad...even if it's just a little bad.  And it's so easy to turn what someone else feels passionate about and enjoys doing into something trivial, wasteful, and insignificant.  I've done it I'm sure, so I know.  And sure, we might do it without even realizing we're doing it because it's so ingrained in us as humans.  

I guess I assume there are a number of reasons to do that; we wish we had thought of the idea first, we wish we had the talent to do whatever said person is doing, we wish we had the same connections as someone else to be able to make something work, we wish something about our lives was different so we could do something else.  It really goes on and on.  But--those comments--are not so passive aggressive.  They're really just rude and in many cases ungrateful.  How many times have you made something for someone and their response instead of "Thanks!  That's so cool," is "Oh my word--I can't believe you made that! I wish I had the time to do stuff like this."

Translation:  The way that I spend my time is more significant than the way you spend yours.  Your life is so easy that you have time to fritter away on things like this.  

Harsh translation?  I don't know.  Not really.  I really believe comments like, "I wish I had the time to do that," are always wrong.  Everyone has 24 hours in their day.  Some people spend a lot of hours at the gym, some people clean their houses incessantly, some people have five kids, some people shop around the clock, some people watch a lot of TV, some people are work-a-holics because they love their job, some people love to cook so that's what they do, some people garden during all seasons, and some people might be getting a second degree.  Whatever they're doing, whatever you're doing it's how we choose to spend the hours we've been given and it's different for everyone and it doesn't make it wrong or less important than yours.  

I blog because I love to write.  I've always loved to write.  I spent hours in my bedroom as a kid and teenager writing stories.  It was my release--like talking on the phone and listening to music was for other kids.  To prove it maybe I'll post portions of my Civil War romance novel, my ballet drama, or my WWII concentration camp tragedy.  I was the freak in college who loved professors who gave blue book exams because I could write my way into an A any day.  I really missed writing while I was teaching middle school full time--it's just not a place to write creatively on a frequent basis.  I mean sure, little bouts here and there, but not like blogging.  

I really started blogging seriously while my husband and I were going through the adoption process.  It was a way to let family and friends know what was going on and how things were progressing, and a way to share with others who might one day work through the adoption process what it's like.  There is so little "real" information out there for people, including myself, that I hoped that it might help someone one day--if even a little.

It brought back all of those writing cravings that I'd forgotten I had and made me want to do it more and more and more.  And the other reason blogging has been good for my soul is that it helps me focus on what is important in my life and what isn't and the millions of things I have to be thankful for even when I'm having a grumpy day.

And let's be honest--we've all learned something from some blog that we've read at sometime; whether deep and profound or something as simple as a great DIY or a potty training trick.  Blogging lets you in on real-time advice by people engaging in whatever activity you're trying to learn about in that moment.

It's a good thing.  It's one of my things.  And I plan on doing it for awhile.  

Kelli.

I'm a mom that works two days a week.  It's a great schedule and I don't take the opportunity for granted; getting to spend the majority of my time with the peach and a couple of days with adults in the school where I taught for ten years talking about adult topics and things having to do with education.  It truly is a magnificent set up.  However, I still have to leave Georgia with someone for two days while I work and if you've ever had to secure regular child-care for your babies you know it's one of the most stressful things us working moms do besides the actual act of leaving them on a regular basis.

Last year I was lucky enough to be able to have one of my old students, who I taught when she was an 8th grader, who is now in her early twenties, come and play with Georgia while I was at work.  Kelli.....is an amazing girl.  I loved her from the first day of school the year she was in 8th grade.  She was in my homeroom and I also had her for history class.

Kelli will be the first one to tell you that she is not a lover of school.  But that doesn't stop her from working hard to get it done, setting goals, and seeing it through to the finish--and that is the first thing I admire about her--her work ethic.  She was also one of the most mature 8th graders I've ever had the pleasure of teaching.  If you remember anything about middle school it's the giggling, the gossiping, the backstabbing, the catty friend triangles, the drama, the 'she said-she said,' the boys and who they like or don't, and that fine line you walked trying to be a grown up and flexing your independence but still wanting to slip back into elementary school mode filled with lots of reminders and the ability to let down your social guard for a second just to be yourself.  Kelli was always good at being herself.  And I'm sure--because she's a normal person like everybody else--she had her middle school moments--but she never let them define who she was; at least to the casual observer.  She was poised, intentional, contemplative, serious, appropriate, polite, compassionate, and wise beyond her years.

I remember one time she asked me to hold her accountable when it came to being negative.  She knew she had a tendency to slip down that hill very fast if she allowed herself to do it and didn't want it to be who she was.  I loved that as an 8th grader she was able to recognize that about herself and had a desire to change it.

After 8th grade we maintained a friendship through her high school years, going out to dinner every other month or so, e-mailing, and just hanging out sometimes.  She moved to New Jersey for a year to nanny and then came back to finish school here in Grand Rapids.....and that's when I got lucky! I needed new child-care for Georgia last year and just sent a random e-mail to a bunch of girls, Kelli included, asking if they knew anyone who would want to babysit in my house two days a week.  Kelli said she wanted to. And I can't even explain to anyone the relief that a mom feels when they are able to guarantee such amazing care for their child--but if you're a mom who has to do this--you know what I'm talking about.

There was never one time last year when I wondered what was happening back at my house while I was at work, came home to find my house a wreck, worried that the rules I enforced wouldn't be enforced while I was gone, or that Kelli didn't have Georgia's best interest in mind.  She took her to the library, on play-dates with another little girl and her mom that was a friend of Kelli's (and the sister of some other amazing former students of mine), to the children's museum, out to lunch, and to the botanical gardens here in Grand Rapids.

When I'd come home from work she'd usually hang around for a while and we'd catch up on life.  Having her in my home on a regular basis was a gift, not only to me, but my daughter.  Georgia always talks about Kelli.....and Travis.....Kelli's boyfriend who makes Georgia laugh and laugh.

Kelli's schedule changed this year and she's almost done with school and life is getting busier for her so it wouldn't work to have her here again with us for the new school year.  It was sad.  I'm slowly recovering.

Kelli will always hold a place in my heart.  Not only as this amazing 8th grade student who I identified with so much on a personal level but because she poured herself into my daughter's life and became Georgia's friend.  As a parent you desire to have other adults in your children's lives who they can look up to, respect, and want to be like--Kelli is one of those for Georgia.  She even took Georgia out to dinner a few weeks ago with Travis and made her this amazing photo album of all of their memories from the year they spent together.  She is the best.......the absolute best!

Thanks Kelli for easing this mama's days at work by letting her know that her baby was well taken care of, loved, and nurtured.  And thanks for being just an all around, pretty amazing woman!  It's hard to believe you were actually an 8th grader in my classes that I probably had to tell to stop talking once or twice!

Check out her blog!) 

Larry's Pizza.

My whole life I've been really good at wishing things away....things that, in retrospect, I wish I would have enjoyed more. You know...

I can't wait until I'm in middle school....then everything will be all awesome all the time. (Say what?)

Middle school is just so-so......if I could only get to high school I'll have all the freedom in the world. 

If I could just get my first "real" boyfriend.....(no offense 5th grade boy who asked me to "go with him.")

High-school would be so much better if I could just drive. 

If I would just stop breaking out (okay--I'm still wishing for that...with no regrets).

College is going to be so much better than high school--I'll be able to do whatever I want (because I was so rebellious?????)

Let's move off campus--dorms are so freshman year.

Okay--I'm ready to live alone....no more room-mates. 

And it goes on right?  All through adulthood.  There is always one more "level" that your brain thinks you need to reach in order to "have it all" and be able to relax into your life.  A job, a better job, a house, a better house, kids, more kids, bigger vacations, nicer cars...........and it's exhausting and sadly you wake up one day and you're thirty four and you have some super amazing memories but a lot of wishing away too.  

But one of the things I've forced myself to do over the last year is to punch my brain in the proverbial face every time it starts to do that and choose to enjoy the moment I'm in.  I'm not wishing away diapers (and let's all just be honest about how they're WAY easier than accidents for the next year), I'm not wishing away the baby gate at the top of the stairs that I trip over constantly and almost rip off the wall in a (super mature) rage at least once a week, I'm not wishing away the car seat (as delightful as it is--and with winter coat season approaching it just gets more exciting), I'm not wishing away the crib, or the booster seat, or the small house (that I can hardly keep up cleaning anyway), or the cat who pukes (well..........). 

I'm choosing to soak in what all these things have to offer.  

Tonight I was reminded why I'm choosing this.  We went to a weird little restaurant near our house called Larry's Pizza.  I have never been to a place that operates like this joint--you pay a flat fee upon arrival and then you can order whatever and however many pizzas you want; loaded baked potato, chicken Alfredo, BLT, taco salad, meat lovers, chocolate chip, peach, whatever.........., when it's done they offer it to you first, serve you slices and then whatever is left they offer up to everyone else or put it on the open buffet.  So weird to be able to order a whole baked potato pizza and then just eat one piece and order another pizza.  And of course--like all fine dining establishments they have an arcade.  Georgia loves this place--she loves pizza, she loves those arcade games, she loves playing with her daddy--it's a lot of love for Larry's pizza.  

And as I was watching her eat her fifth piece of pizza (Larry's is losing out with Georgia--kids her age are free....no one anticipated the incredible "I can eat my weight......and I will" two year old in the form of my daughter) and squirming to get to the arcade games I was so grateful for this moment in a strange little restaurant on a Saturday night surrounded by screaming kids and mediocre theme pizza because it's where we are right now in our lives.  And we might not have everything perfect and there are still days where I'll wish away a temper tantrum or an over-flowing laundry room, or a strained relationship, or some obligation I wish I didn't have but I don't want to miss out on Larry's pizza moments because I was wishing for the next best thing.....I want to dwell in them and embrace them and be thankful for them.  

What's your Larry's Pizza moment?

Fairies are much cuter.........

than bizarre Dora wigs that contain enough hair for ten adults.  And because of this that's what Georgia was for trick-or-treating Monday night--a fairy.  The overly organized/planning mom in me didn't like the idea of switching costumes mid-stream but it just had to happen.  There was no other choice.  So on Sunday night I headed to the store to buy a pair of $10 fairy wings to pair with a tutu, lots of glitter glue, flower bows, and a crazy blue fur vest that we already owned.  The results were much more my cup of tea than the aforementioned Dora debacle. 

It was a great night.  We collected candy with our friends again this year in their neighborhood and then headed back to ours for a few houses and to pass out candy.  I think Georgia actually likes the passing out candy part more than the collecting candy part.  Although, I will say it's pretty darn adorable when after every new addition to her candy bucket she runs down the walk screaming, "Daddy.....look what they gave me!" 

Even after receiving her eighth package of Twizzlers she was over the moon.  I wish I could get that excited about something so simple. 

I love neighborhood streets on Halloween.  It reminds of days gone by......kids with their parents running all over, shrieking in excitement, leaves crunching, candles burning, so many colors, neighbors laughing, and people getting wrapped up in the camaraderie of living on the same street and feeling a pride in their community--if only for one night.  Because soon, we'll enter that time of the year here in Michigan where you leave for work in the dark, come home in the dark, and only venture outside to unbury from a foot of snow.......and you may or may not see your neighbors.  Halloween is a perfect book-end to a fabulous summer! It's a slice of Americana that makes me feel nostalgic and proud and extra determined to preserve rituals like this for my daughter.

I love this!  She's actually kind of looking at me.  Do you know how hard it is to get a picture of this girl and her perfect little face?  The minute that camera comes out she's running in the other direction.

Blue glitter wings and sparkly bows just make me feel happy.  You?

Georgia and Fi having a serious conversation about the status of their candy buckets.

If we hadn't stopped this when we did I promise you she would have had every piece of candy she'd received out on the side-walk for us to inventory, "I have M & M's, these little circle candies, sugar, bigger sugar (pixie sticks), chocolate, one for me, one for mommy, one for Sparrow.........."

That's it.....and we'll be eating candy until the end of November or whenever I decide to pitch it.  November is here and great things are coming as we get ready for the best holidays of the year!